so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
