If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
