dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
