I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
