i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
