hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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