I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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