Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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