"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize