My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
