but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
