Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
