Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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