I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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