i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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