Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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