Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
