this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
