You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
