I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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