I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
