i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
