i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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