they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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