You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize