how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.