I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.