Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind