trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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