so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
