last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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