I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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