Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
