She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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