Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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