I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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