Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
