Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
