We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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