Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
