In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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