i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
