***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This girl is more easily done than said...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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