WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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