OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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