Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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