This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
