I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
