would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
