So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
