he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize