So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
