new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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