Non-Jews are for practice
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
