dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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