Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
