i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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