Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
