Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
