I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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