I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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